Doa seorang hamba

     Ya Allah,dugaan mu ini besar namun ku cuba tetapkan hatiku lebih besar daripada dugaanmu.Namun Ya Allah,tanpa bantuan mu ,siapa lah aku....sebesar mana usaha ku,tanpa redha dan keizinanmu,aku....takkan ke manan-mana.
     Ya Allah,sesungguhnya lemahnya aku terasa tanpa orang yang kusayangi di sisi.Aku juga tidak meminta kesempurnaan ,Ya Allah,namun apabila aku buka dan persembahkan hatiku untuk seseorang dalam apa2 bentuk sekali (rakan,kasih,kepercayaan), hanya satu ku pinta,kejujuran.Jauhkan makhluk yang berpura-puraan kerana aku tak mampu...kerana sejahat-jahat manusia,aku membenci manusia yang berpura-puraan.Ya Allah,aku bermohon perlindungan.Sejauh mana kakiku mampu ku berjalan,aku akan berjalan dengan izinmu,insyallah,namun jauhilah daripada manusia seperti ini,kerana ia membuatkan terasa seperti berjalan di atas kepingan kaca,menanti kaca menusuk kaki namun hakikatnya kita masih harus tersenyum.Aku memaafkan segala kejahatan hati manusia yang mendatangkan sihir padaku kerana mereka juga manusia yang disesatkan iblis,namun belum cukup kuat untukku...untuk manusia bersifat pura-puraan.Ya Allah,maka ,kuatkanlah hati ku...Ya Allah,hanya padamu aku meminta.Amin.

a lil story

   so...it is true that he will never ever able to be the 'right'.
    "Jika kita merasakan dia yang 'benar' ,namun saesungguhnya hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui siapa yang benar untukmu

BABIES.....a gift ...a bless

Hi, lately i've been sick so bad...to the most unimaginable point.So.. sick that at one point,sometimes,i need to get hold to someone.but also, lately i found new strength.I have been blessed by 10 new kids,magnificient 1.they r so cute,nampun namja.As if..and 'll be good if they were ours.New life has begin.and i am a new mommy of 10.I know and i promise be strong...it feels like they r new energy coming around when they r there...i hope i'll always be that strong.Would be good if they have their papa...but mommy will keep you safe eventhough without daddy nor papa....we will strive strong.

      mommy ,willl keep you safe....

sotry of my heart

  I was reading a friend status, "will it worth a wait?"...In my opinion,for her,yup...may be..probably....for me?will it be the same?Will it worth to wait for nampun namja?Did it can be call a 'wait' in my situation for nampun namja?
       I HAVE BEEN DOUBTING MYSELF AS LATELY...do I deserves to call it a wait?I know...as sooon his name pop,gladly and proudly I would say I loves him...but lately,it seems my heart get tempted by another creature...I hate to be tempted by him....coz how far could I control?i don't know..it feel like I am losing my control each time...I admits I am a lil bit under his spell..a lil......I hate to feel like a sinner.'ve been loving one particular guy for 5 years straight and by few words from that creature,i am tempted.I nearly fall.And I am calling myself loyal?That creature who resembles my father..have scared me a lot coz ....I resembles my mother the most.It is almost the same play all over again.

a LETTER to god : lil girl prayer

     Hi,it's 1.12 am ,2 days after 2014.Happy New Year,Honey,my sweet nampun namja...story after story,drama after drama  i watched,one funny thing happened as i am watching.After all those thing,their hero changed,but mine stick the same.These year of 2015, i watched Pinocchio,and the first person that came to my mind is you,my nampun namja.Normally,people would discuss about their New Years wish but for me,nampun namja, you are as important as all my wishes when all my wish are sum together.How much i hope it will changed,you just so important.Though through time , i'll keep on wishing,but now ,i am wishing again.God, give your poor slave one happiness she have hoped for ,her nampun namja and she'll be happy and spread so much happiness toward others.
      Wish for 2015:
1)to be positive toward persons and surrounding
2) keep my first promise of 2015 (vacation)
3)Work Hard to give my lil sis glamorous wedding (coz she deserved it.Waiting for nampun namja as i know , i will never give up to slighest 0.001 chance but in case,the possibility just didn't meant to happened, i will marry her off thinking of how my wedding i wanna be).... fulfill other wish as ours.So,i'll have to work hard
4)be a good teacher,listener and probably mother to my babies students

i hope this year wouldn't be colourful for me.i will make it colourful with my darnest smiles.i'll stay strong.Nampun namja, my promise to you,i'll stay really strong.
 
    I want to be in love without to be forcing myself to fall in love in first place (coz then, i will feel like "someones already there,you, nampun namja".Coz i want it so much to move on...but it feel more terrified thinking of forgeting him coz the HIM, that keep me strong.Just stay in my heart,and don't cost so much chaos ,nampun namja.
   
   PRAYERS OF 2015
    i'll do anything so much so that, my mom want she want,what she deserves...happiness,wealth....
    And i'm praying for 'woman from hell" that she will always be nice especially to my mom.Once a while cook for my mom,once a while buy her thing and keep her tone down,and DON'T ABONDONED MY MOM...and for me,that's already heaven for me...what i want to see in my family...
    As for my lil sis, i hope i could marry her off to a good man (wish i quite convinced she has found ones).Be happy and have as much as children more than they wanna...coz every child carry a lot of happiness when they came to the earth...
     As for me, i wanna to be happiness .I wanna to be sincerely loves by people.I want to find someone who could hold me close and keep me safe.


     ____Happy New Year 2015 _______________________