SHOULD'VE SAY NO~~~Love knock hard.....

       Hi,hello....sleepy and sleeping day for me,today.Originally,i want to write a little bout someone i called 'short-arm wangja' but currently,i listen to a song that reminds me a lot of my 'nampun namja'.I want to write this post TO REMIND ME not to FALL with this kind of love again because it will know me hard.

      Even remembering him upon this song make my stomache hurt so much.I cried hard almost every night watching the Master's sun as it reminds me of him A LOT.I have shielding myself hard that anyone barely penetrate the first layer even my mom.There is once time, that i cried so hard  (my eyes started swollen) but when my friends came,automatically,my smile grew instead of tears,and that is how i shield myself.Because PEOPLE when they say they will stay for your emotions,they are lying.No one want to hold others people tears when they have their own,right?Everyone like happy things.No ones will stay with those with constant tears.
      But him....he sort of  there even when it's raining, stormy and sunny.He used to be only ones that will listen to my sighs and work on it.He is the only ones that didn't run like my father did.He is the only ones that i think, will bother to ask rather than just 'EXISTING' like my brother.And both of that figures,made up the picture of MAN most in my life.He is the opposite.Rather than just 'EXISTING',he cared.Rather observing me fly,he teach how to use my wings.For the frist time,i wasn't afraid and ready to fall hard because i know he is there  for me to heal.Rather than cursing, he said 'i am a person who hardly listen to others'.
     To me,he used to be my sky (SINCE I KNOW I HAVE TO MOVE ON).You know how the sky is?The sky....always there in what ever weather...just there.For the first time,someone made me feel COMPLETE,so complete that i don't need another thing in this world...For the first time,i been happy so much that it reach the deepest core no one ever made it.I like him just this lot to the extend that i love his scar too.i just happy having my sky.
    That time,if he (if he flat brokes) , and the almighty SO JI SUB (that successful) open their arm reachimg me, within a sec of thinking (may be i ll think in 5 sec), definitely i run into his arm.Zero doubt at all.I will be happy even in a lousy hut.For so long,he standby me and i foolishly think fairytale could happen since i have this once true love.He was and will never be into me.Even i know it,i foolishly pray that he will just stick around (please just EXIST  for me to continue loving him).I pray to God, i won't ask for more, i won' be greedy.I will keep him well by restraining my love.I did.I helped him with his love.I prayer to his love (he want).i'm pathetic but i don't care until one day,HE STOP EXISTING just like that ,even as someone who was helped once.i didn't know why but he decide i'm no longer important,i'm no longer in his 'care' persons list,I was NO LONGER WORTH his time.Just like that....afterall, those..Even as friend,even a bystander,even as his lowly subject, there is no room anymore for me.I cried missing you for days and now,i am just another stranger to him...and yet-to-come future,'NAMPUN NAMJA'..jassshik.
      It is true,he is the 'sky' but i forget that he is the 'sky'.Even he was there,sky are meant for everybody.Even i looked the sky though the grip of my fingers and it looked like it's mine,it never be.for the start,i am not should to shield with you,sky.At the end,i was drenched wet by your dropping of rain.

    THIS IS MY REMINDER TO STOP.i will hold my heels up high beyond your sky,looking up high.There is another skies i could explore,another ground to discover,another winter to be breath in ,another road to be travelled and another HAPPINESS TO BE FOUND.i'll shine my sapphire,so that i'll  glow more than any oher presence anyone could be...AJA-AJA FIGHTING.
http://youtu.be/GyKG9M57zus