Hi,hello.nega
watta.a few days ago, I watched the last episode of “princess’s Man”…to the
scene where the “kongju” and her husband (half dead) ended up in the prison.She
have to made a decision who could
determine the life of her man,herself and her unborn baby: should she try to
stop her man from his fight which reflect his self the most for the sake of
their life?or Should she let him go knowing this definitely will bring the end
of her man’s life and the starter of fatherless life of her baby?She have travel miles of journey,longest
day to be letting him go just like that but she loves him knowing that there is
an end of the road.I asked myself…and yet,I didn’t any solid answer eventhough I
did try imagining myself in her shoes.Why?when “kongju” have a baby inside of
her,so,she should begged her not to go,right?Grabbing the man I loved away from
his dream he have shed blood for. For something he did give his life for…is
like ordering him to stop living his self,didn’t it?didn’t we love our man because
of hisown self (character for who he is)?Could you bear being his “what if”…everytime
he stare the sky in the evening,sighing? Yet,Could you bear losing him to his
own fight when your baby is growing out of hardness not having a father and you….crying
over his picture everytime the memory strikes?See…even I think it over and
over,I couldn’t get any answer….love is too complicated…it neither can be too
easy nor too hard.
Oh..ohh….talking
about similar kinda stuff…”nampun namja”,am I suddenly in your list again?Suddenly
I am qualified to be at least your spare time list?you throw me away and you
picked me up again?Am I your trash ,ya?The first time,I was smiling and I really
am…I even went to work with new spirit,it was like I am ejected with new kinda
energy.I become lively again.I feels like a person again.I worked that day like
my energynever gonna finish forever.I have the person nega puggochiposo… again
even in such hair-thin kinda connection
but I was thankful.i was thankful that now, I can go to his wedding someday,whispering
to the song “raja ki aeyegi barat” with accepting heart …of a friend rather
than just as a person who is letting her love go.Let him go and dance with all
your might to wish him a happiness.
http://youtu.be/xp_LarNCtsM
Raja[1] ki
aayegi baaraat
Prince Charming’s
wedding procession will arrive
Raja ki aayegi baaraat
Prince Charming’s
wedding procession will arrive
Rangeeli hogi raat
The night will be
festive/colorful
Magan main naachoongi
I will dance joyously
Ho, magan main
naachoongi
Oh, I will dance
joyously
Raja ki aayegi baaraat
The prince Charming’s
wedding procession will arrive
Rangeeli hogi raat
The night will be
festive/colorful
Magan main naachoongi
I will dance joyously
Ho, magan main
naachoongi
Oh, I will dance
joyously
Raja ki aayegi baaraat
The Prince Charming’s
wedding procession will arrive
---------------------
Raja ke maathe tilak
lagega
A tikka powder [2]will
be applied to the groom's forehead
(Rani ke maang sindoor[3])
x.2
(Sindoor will be put in
the parting of the bride's hair) x.2
Main bhi apne mann ki aasha
I will also fulfill
(Poori karoongi zaroor)
x.2
(My heart's desire) x.2
Mehndi[4] se
peele honge haath
With henna, my hands
will be colorful
Saheliyon ke saath
With my girlfriends
Magan main naachoongi
I will dance joyously
Ho, magan main
naachoongi
Oh, I will dance
joyously
Raja ki aayegi baaraat
The Prince Charming’s
wedding procession will arrive
---------------------
Rani ke sang raja doli[5] sajaake
Adorning his carriage
with his queen
Chale jaayenge pardes
The king will take her
away to a foreign land
Haan, rani ke sang raja
doli sajaake
Yes, adorning his
carriage with his queen
Chale jaayenge pardes
The king will take her
away to a foreign land
Jab jab unki yaad aayegi
Whenever her memories
will come to me
(Dil pe lagegi thes)
x.2
(My heart will yearn
with pain) x.2
Nainon mein hogi barsaat
There will be rainfall
of tears in my eyes
Andheri hogi raat
The night will be dark
Akeli main naachoongi
I will dance all alone
Haai, akeli main
naachoongi
Oh, I will dance all
alone
Raja ki aayegi baaraat
The Prince Charming’s
wedding procession will arrive
Rangeeli hogi raat
The night will be
festive/colorful
Magan main naachoongi
I will dance joyously
Ho, magan main
naachoongi
Oh, I will dance
joyously
Raja ki aayegi baaraat
The Prince Charming’s
wedding procession will arrive
As soon as that happened,that night,I dreamt of him.Rather than comfort feeling I used to feel,I dreamt of him with a wary and anxious feeling of when he gonna be “dismissing” me from his side.it was like I am falling into a deep hollow hole and every day,I can only climb 2-3 step…and now,my feeling is all over the place.As much as I am happy and want to be in his list, but if he “dismiss” me again,it was like falling again to that hole when you almost crawl out.When I didn’t know any reason for that…
May be he start
noticing before…though I did keep it well,Who know?Even before my feeling developed
toward him , someone feel uneasy ALREADY…even BEFORE….funny…yet,it took longer
time before I ended in this road.But…if he knows…he should know one other
thing.WHEN I CHOOSE TO LET MYSELF LOVING YOU ,I HAVE GIVEN UP ALREADY ON MAKING
YOU LOVING ME BACK.it is too much of expensive wish.WHEN I DECIDED THAT MY LOVE
TO YOU COULDN’T BE RESTRAIN ANYMORE,I PROMISE TO WORK FOR YOUR HAPPINESS ,INSTEAD
OF MINE AS LONG AS I WAS ABLE TO SEE YOU.WHEN I SWORN TO LOVE YOU, I KNOW I’LL HAVE TO LOVE YOU BY
MYSELF ONLY.So,if you think of me wanting to steal you from your yeoja,you are
insulting my love.After time passed by till now of me loving me,another “cause”
have stray me a lot for wanting you.a “cause” that I always promised myself to
given up my love with…I did it for you and that.After long time,I just want you
here as a friend….that is it.Just a simple request….oh..i get a lil too
emotional ,again?huh…
Today,I am really
out of mood.from starting of day to now,I just….not in the mood.May be because
of this fever.May be from the boyz.i noticed the fever –flu-cough is spreading
again.I am not feeling good…at least not too much.talking bout work,I noticed
one more thing, I and that kid,”specky snobby”…arghh..such a weird kinda
connection?As it seems like we want to talk and we’re willing to…but when we
do,it just become so serious as if we are talking about world war 4 ,when we
are just talking about simplest thing in the world.He was no longer snobby but
it feel weird to be more friendlier to him…when I heard my tone talking to
him..TOO SERIOUS….why?didn’t know…yeah…too weird…others…yeah…warm…nice chat…even
with new ones,that “M voice” ,it is easier than him.Watching “anygry boy” in
his yearly book,yeahhh..missing his rudeness act again…heehehe..dongsaengi…ouri
dongsaengi…
p/s: my sis, “demonic diamond” called me second mother for
lil goddess.That is too much of a title for a bachelor like me.i keep my
silence to that call.Eventhough I am current doing it (what a mother do) but to
officially announce it,too much….
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