Reliving the love: Two Is Better Than one

      Hello,currently i am listening to "two is better than one",and it bring back some old feelings about love .Because the single lyrics remind me ,on how i used to love...and that kind of fairytalic feeling.Miss it a lot...because lately,and seriously, i haven't experiencing anything like that.The feeling that "two is better than one" things...truthfully,as much as it might hurt me (being in that kinda love),it made me feel full of hope...like everyday,i am hoping to jump out of bed and start the day...And among my love toward somebody,"nampun namja "is the most righful person that i have loved .Although i am greatly hurt by it, but i am proud that i chose the right person.It is just that....he deserved somebody better than i am..i totally understand bout that.
     With mom keep arranging and dreaming my "love life",everything seems hardly come natural ,when i am the person that expecting natural love from a true feeling.oh...may be beucase of the continous jokes my family pulled for my "romance" with "short armed wangja",i dreamt of him last night.i dreamt that somehow,finally we're tied with that rope (ones that mom want),and the feeling...i had during that time,made me feel doubtful again.It is so different when i dreamt bout "nampun namja" ,me and my family.With him ("nampun namja"),the feeling is so comfortable as if he is always one with me,the family...but with short armed wangja.....it full of awkwardness as if we're trying to keep everything s secret.I got me thinking for a while.What am i doing?Am i really hope to be in love or i just need a companion?Or,did i stop in believing in love?In between those three,there are an answer.And this afternoon,a friend of demonic diamond,a man said that he have his eyes on my sis ,"slimmy fashionista" and she is his type" when he met her in a glance.And me? he said i have my pure fair skin.Argghh...i hate that type of man the most.the ones that rolls his eyes on thigh first.I am not against guys against some beauty for example, "slimmy fashionista"'s man ,and "nampun namja".i means ,a good guy always deserved the exclusive plate.They didn't choose bimbo but a lady.That's what a real man do.That why fairytale is a lie by the way.love the character?love the big heart?kindness?gentle?like the "beastly" movie,For nowaday era, they got beaten by shiny thigh,expensive heels and plastic face.It is not that i stop believing the fairytale but now,i know,it is just good for comforting.Reality is for real people.
       oh....getting for from the topic....due to that dream..and plus.plus...plus..,i am reconsidering my feeling.i want to stop being involved in the feelings for now... may be,i'll jump back into the track (of feeling,love,and emotions) in a few days,due to my mom and the nature of human being (of wanting in some sort of feeling 's games)...but for now,i want to search within me...WHAT DO I WANT?that rope...didn't eveyone wnat it?why it feels so awkward ,so wrong.as if i need to back off from the games?HOW CAN I GET BACK THE FEELING OF "TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE"?did i really have totally given up on love?Somehow....i miss the feeling of hoping,imagining that happy end is possible.

p/s:A baby is coming within my family circle...and now,i am deeply worry of "lil goddess".I am worry someday,she will be more isolated by the arrival of "new game".I want to give all my love,i have to her,but what can i do,she is not even mine.but who now the rolling dice of fate?Looking at deeper look,my family is more like the "wang family" a lil bit....funny as it is...
p/s: eventhough i do fall in love with character ( which is why i chose "nampun namja" once ,making me known for bad taste in man for his look),but will i fall the saame way she did if i meet him?When happy ending is possible,right?May be ...right?it not like love can come in any form...it just come anyway it want to..