OVERRULES BY HEART:friend,love and family

  These few days,i feels a lil bit anxious.A few day ago," regional goddess" post a song for me,as a support for up and down unreached love of mine.A few emotional comment,a song made another bestfriend of us,"slanted eyes"curious.Curious enough to personally message me saying hi.
    As far we are chatting ,i knew where she want it to head to.She want to know...what are happened.Even since we met years ago,we became best friends.People said that in any relationship you will faced some clear days that make you want to relive the moments over and over ,some cloudy days that barely out of your hands.For me,whether it is cloudy or clear,everyday is a day worth relive with.I may have many bad sheets in my life diary but they made the rest of it worth more than a smile.The memories that i like is when we sit by rock ,looking at the ocean as if it would tell how our future might hold.They are the reason why i pictured ocean as the most beautiful nature that captured my memories.Now,having the need to keep something from them aren't too good of a feeling for me.there are some sense of guilty....there some sense of anxious...there are a lil bit of everything."Biane,chinggu ya".."chummal biane"...i know you are curios...it made me feel good,in the same time,guilty feeling for not telling struck me all over again.Believe me ,i won't hide my heart from you as you know it better than mine.but for now,it is the best for us.
      Today,i watched the same movie,Spellbound i watched a year ago ..now,on TV.Strangely,eventhough i watched the same plot,the same background and the same casts,yet it feel thousand times different.The difference?I used to watched it alone on my lappy,"nicky" and i watched it a few times by myself. That time, i think the movie is okay but not scary and nice plot going on.Watching with my family.....i am forgetting bout the plot.Why?Because we are laughing.My abnormal family...we laughed hard that it seems like i never watch it even once.It feels nice...because usually we have different genre in our pocket.And i am usually the black duck of the family compared to all yellowish ones.At the end,the "not-so-scary" movie turned out to be such a funny movie.How funny life is,right?With family or without them,even the everything didn't changed,but feeling changed,right?With a slight happiness,or a piece of sorrow ,it changed and the tiniest raindrops eventually changed the ocean,right?it is the same any person we love...With the love ones or with others,even EVERYTHING IS THE SAME but feeling changed ,right?It went bias to the person you wanted...And getting overrules by heart is a thing i struggling to get out with.I am strong ones and will...Aja!!1aja!!!fighting!!!Even it i am like "hwanggini",you smiles,danced and tell people about your broken heart....yet,as long as i am happy...